Thanks, everyone, for your support.
|Madrigal, 3 weeks old|
But what really torked me off was that, through the course of the day, she never once acknowledged me, or asked how Maddie or I was doing. One other participant thinks she may simply not have recognized me without my distinct B&W horse, but I made a point of asking a few questions, and interacting with her on several other occasions. And I had my name tag on, at least until it warmed up enough to take off my jacket. I'm not quite sure I buy that explanation.
Another rider that was looking to build confidence with her horse felt that the clinician not too subtly suggested that she needed to sell her horse, rather than work through the issues they were having. Yet the two greenest riders in the group, both on fairly green horses (one less than 3 years old!) were encouraged to keep giving it a go.
I was hoping that this clinic was going to be the confidence boost to get Maddie and I back on the right track. Instead, I feel shot down. The curt way she dismissed me yesterday makes me feel like I was abusing my horse by even being there, and endangering the other riders. Though she did offer me a refund for the second day, there was no offer to let me bring another horse (not that Kate was anywhere near ready) nor reassurance that maybe I knew anything at all about what I am doing with horses.
Instead of gaining confidence and trust in each other, Maddie and I are left with a bad experience, not even addressed, let alone worked through. I'm back to where I was a year ago--afraid to get on my own horse. It remains to be seen if I can get on Kate this week.
Yesterday I was discouraged and frustrated. Today I'm pissed off. In both instances my head was/is pounding and my stomach still rolling.
I'll keep you posted about the vet visit on Thursday.